Good Evening…
Halloween audio from the skeleton host. Play here or download the MP3s.
Download all 14 clips · ZIP 10 MBGood Evening (15-second clip with sound effects) · 15 s
“Ahh... good evening. Do come closer, my dear... I don't bite. I haven't had lips for a hundred years. (laughs) Happy Halloween.”
Download MP3 · 0.4 MBFull script, take 1 · 39 s
“Ahh... good evening. Do come closer, my dear. I don't bite... I haven't had lips for a hundred years. Tonight the graves are restless, the moon is hungry, and I have saved you a seat. Right here... beside me. Forever. Heh heh heh... Happy Halloween.”
Download MP3 · 0.9 MBFull script, take 2 · 32 s
“Ahh... good evening. Do come closer, my dear. I don't bite... I haven't had lips for a hundred years. Tonight the graves are restless, the moon is hungry, and I have saved you a seat. Right here... beside me. Forever. Heh heh heh... Happy Halloween.”
Download MP3 · 0.8 MBFull script, take 3 · 38 s
“Ahh... good evening. Do come closer, my dear. I don't bite... I haven't had lips for a hundred years. Tonight the graves are restless, the moon is hungry, and I have saved you a seat. Right here... beside me. Forever. Heh heh heh... Happy Halloween.”
Download MP3 · 0.9 MB01. Trick or Treat · 31 s
“Trick or treat? How delightful. I'd join you for the candy, but I have no stomach for it. (laughs) Go on, take two. Take three. The last child who took just one... is still standing in my garden. Very, very still. Happy Halloween, my sweet.”
Download MP3 · 0.7 MB02. The Graveyard Tour · 30 s
“Welcome to the tour, dear guests. On your left, Mister Hargrove, who died laughing. On your right, Miss Pell, who died of curiosity... she opened the wrong door. And behind you? (whispers) Don't turn around. (laughs) Keep walking. The exit is this way... I think.”
Download MP3 · 0.7 MB03. A Body Like Yours · 30 s
“Look at you, all wrapped up in skin, like a present. I had a body like yours once. Soft. Warm. Ticklish. (sighs) Now I'm all elbows and regrets. But I do save a fortune on haircuts. Heh heh heh... Enjoy yours while it lasts.”
Download MP3 · 0.7 MB04. Pumpkin Carving · 32 s
“Tonight we carve the pumpkin. Scoop out the insides... slowly... the seeds, the strings, the cold wet pulp. Marvelous. Now give him a face. Two eyes, a crooked grin. Light the candle and... there. He's looking at you. He'll be looking at you all night long.”
Download MP3 · 0.8 MB05. Dinner Invitation · 26 s
“You are cordially invited to dinner at the crypt. Eight o'clock. Dress: formal. Skin: optional. The soup is cold, the bread is older than your grandmother, and the guest of honor... is you. (laughs) Do bring an appetite. We certainly will.”
Download MP3 · 0.6 MB06. Bedtime Rules · 21 s
“Before you sleep, a few small rules. Never let your foot hang off the bed. Never look under it. And if you hear a rattle in the closet... (whispers) that's only me. Tidying. Goodnight, little one. Sleep tight. I'll be right here.”
Download MP3 · 0.5 MB07. The Rib-Cage Band · 27 s
“Ladies and gentlemen, for one night only, I shall perform a symphony upon my own ribs. (rattling) One, two... ahh, the acoustics in this tomb are divine. My last audience gave me a standing ovation. Mostly because they were running for the door.”
Download MP3 · 0.7 MB08. House Rules · 29 s
“Welcome to my house. Rule one: the candy bowl bites. Rule two: the portraits are watching. They always were. Rule three: if the lights go out, count to ten... and if you hear eleven, run. (laughs) Do make yourselves at home. Forever, ideally.”
Download MP3 · 0.7 MB09. Weather from the Crypt · 26 s
“And now, the weather. Tonight, a thick fog rolling in from the cemetery, with a ninety percent chance of moaning. Winds howling from the north. Temperatures dropping to a bone-chilling... well. You'll feel it. Tomorrow? Darkness. Lovely, lovely darkness.”
Download MP3 · 0.6 MB10. Farewell · 28 s
“The candles are burning low, my dear, and the moon is going home. You've been a wonderful guest. Hardly screamed at all. (laughs) Run along now, before the sun catches you. But do come back next year. I'll be waiting. I'm very good at waiting. Happy Halloween.”
Download MP3 · 0.7 MB